kisses & compliments

guess who FINALLY hooked up with twitter?

username: gypsygrrl

enjoy the video*. then come follow me, if you wanna…

* ohhh how i miss The Real M*chael J*ckson…sigh…

in a few, i am headed out to the bank to cash my whopping full paycheck and then to take my birthday money for a visit to the Horizon Fireless store. the money will stay and i will come home with a brand new kickass phone.

i dont even recall if i have blogged about my POC phone. last summer, i was finally able to do the whole new-q-2* update. the phone i had, was a lovely bit of perfection, perfect size, kept a good charge, etc… but it had a few too many drop-out-of-my-pocket crashes to the ground and it was hanging by a hinge for months and months. see, the ever-wonderful Horizon Fireless would not let me upgrade 2 months early without paying a “early upgrade fee” ~ neverminding the fact that i have been a loyal customer since december 1994. whatever. so i waited. on principle.

and last summer i got this ohhhh-so-lovely KRZR phone ~ in red. ohhh how i heart(ed) that phone. it was sleek and sexy and shiny and had a speakerphone. for a little while…we were very happy.

and then something happened, i am not sure what**… but its ability to hold a charge went kaput. three friends have had the same make and model, and had the exact same issues. one friend traded hers back in THREE TIMES before she got one of the same model that actually worked consistently. another i think tried a trade-in once for the same model. the last friend, a fellow nursing student (alas, with the same money issues as me) is just making do and whinging a great deal about our phones.

btw…POC…it means Piece O’ Crap.

a few weeks ago, i must have been cursing the POC phone, and madre offered to buy me a new phone for my birthday. i feel horribly guilty for her spending that kind of money on me, as i basically have lived rent-free since nursing school began last fall. that is more than enough monetary support. but then i took a road trip (only 70 miles each way) a day or so after that, and realized how thoroughly UNsafe my phone is. on a full charge, i maybe have 20 minutes of talk time. if i keep it off all day, having started with a full charge, still, maybe 20-30 minutes, max.

my dilemma with accepting the money is, i am not content to just get a less-expensive phone. i want (need) a smartphone or a backberry. with school and such, i have been using a very old palm ~ from 2003. it is so old, i cannot sync it with my computer (which i dont really need) but i am tired of carrying around my cell, my palm and god forbid i wanna take my ip*d to the library for studying.

i am not good with the overload of handheld technology. so i decided to accept the big money gift from the madre and i am going to check into a new phone today!

pictures may follow…(lazyness notwithstanding)

* in nursing circles “q” is the abbreviation for “every”

** it may have experienced a short-circuit during my january-trip to visit the sweetgirl, where she stashed it inside her shirt *ahem* and well…its not out of the realm of possibility, seeing that i tend to short-circuit when i get near her myself…

i was pretty torn yesterday, trying to decide if i wanted to go to the pool party or not… i sometimes feel awkward around my family, and stupid self-conscious. i have a very dear cousin who is slightly mentally impaired, and often times, she stays fixated on One Topic For A Very Long Time. i feel like a heel being frustrated by this sometimes, because she truly is and has the biggest, kindest and most loving heart of anyone in my family. it has been years since my ex-gf and i were together. and she still asks about her. which is sweet… but i dunno. and then…when my dad was still alive, he ended up in the nursing home where she worked. and so the latest skipped-record topic is my dad. and so my sweet cousin went right to my achilles heel and started talking about my dad. and you cant tell her, because the feelings will get hurt and THAT will be the thing that gets played on repeat for forever. so i dug my nails into the palm of my hand and we talked about my dad and how she used to tell him she was his niece (my parents had been divorced for 25yrs, and that is how long it had been since my sweet cousin with the steel-trap memory had seen my dad!!!)… it really was touching to know she popped in to say hello to him and i appreciate(d) it a great deal at the time, and now, as well… its just. this. week. has been difficult, missing him on my birthday…

i hopped in the pool and oh my dear god, it was about as close to heaven as i could think of… it has been so awful hot here, the water was really “just like bathwater” which is what Every Adult Said anytime someone new showed up. several times. OY! to the point that the KIDS started saying it to the new-comers, as well.

i truly am a cancer and ruled by the moon and such a true water sign…i feel so at home when i am in the water… and the water was perfect. one of the vacationistas was asking me all about The Concert and so i got to tell her about the amazingness and the missed autograph, too. i always feel like a am this not-exactly-connected spirit with this side of the family (which is where i think i was unsure about going to begin with) and i dunno… its just sometimes weird for me to be there.

the biggest thing that always strikes me is, i am the only only child on this side of the family… of my 26 cousins… and being the unmarried and un-childed one, too… well. i’m left kind of disconnected. sometimes this really bothers me, not like they are excuding me, but its just a weird sensation… overall, i enjoyed the day and kinda kept to myself in the midst of all the kiddo chaos and was content to float on the noodles and then in the recliner-mesh-thingy for a long while and just take in the lovely water and sun and atmosphere and dream a bit of the future…

one of the funniest moments was when the madre showed up, and she got in the pool as i was in the lounger, and i looked over at her and told her that i am SO going to have a house with a pool “when i am a nurse” and true to form, she pissed on my cheerios by replying in snark “thats a lotta work”… i really should just not talk to her about things like this. at all. i replied that owning a home is a lot of work, whats a little extra…? see if she gets invited to my pool!!! (funny…when i told my aunt who is a nun this, she was like “OHHH YES…then YOU can have the pool parties”)

you know, it is amazing how hungry you can get just lolling about in the water… i got out of the pool for a bit and grazed on potato chips and strawberry daquiri wine coolers and cheese and crackers… someone brought a pound cake and i brought madre’s apple cake for dessert. i was still hungry after the chips/cheese/crackers and so i got up and took a piece of pound cake and someone asked in a shocked tone: “you are eating that and not your madre’s cake?????” ohhh the horror in their voice. i looked up and grinned and lifted the cake and said “this is the appetizer, pizza is the entre and madre’s cake is dessert!” everyone laughed and i reminded them i do have the Family Name blood in me, too!!! [we can never be accused of missing a meal...one year we did a cook book and swear. to. god. more than 60% of the first recipes submitted were for desserts!]

my one cousin came by after work and brought us all pizza and that was pretty fun… there were fuzzy navels and some wine coolers circulating and i think its been since before i was 21 that i have been to one of these pool parties and could drink. how strange to have my aunt offer me a DRINK! after dinner, i sat out of the water for a little bit and worked on some embroidery while my food settled ~ what is it about that 30-minute wait to get back into the water? and my cousin who brought the pizza was inspecting my bookmarks! it was pretty fun ~ she used to do beautiful cross-stitch and actually our whole family is extraodrinarily talented and creative. then we got back into the pool for about an hour or so, and the remaining kiddos and adults played a *categories* game in which one person was on one side of the pool and the rest were on the opposite. the lone person thought up a catgeory and something specific and the group had to guess… the correct guesser got to be the lone person and swap places across the pool! the cateories we exhausted were: flowers, fruit, ice cream flavors, sports, pets and animals.

and then the sadness…it was time to leave.

everyone helped clean up, and after finding my one aunt’s keys who got inadvertently put into madre’s purse, kisses to everyone goodbye, we were all off. i got into my car, shorts soaking wet cuz i dilly-dallied getting out of the pool in time to dry off…

i got into the car, and unexpectedly…i felt so totally hollow in my heart. the day was really pretty perfect, and once i was alone, all i kept thinking about what was missing ~ the sweetgirl. there were tears on the way home, and i was grateful the missing her wouldnt likely keep me awake, since i was so watered and sunned out.

once home, i found some clean jammies, combed out my hair, cut a piece of The Cake and got a glass of milk… then curled up on the couch so madre and i could watch Our Show. i didnt even make it thru 2 commercial breaks…and this morning, madre told me she went to bed halfway in. thank goodness for repeats the hour before next weeks show!

and now…..tah-dah…..i finally had the patience to sit for a second and get my flickr-uploader to accept some photos… ~behold, the swim day~ you can see all the photos via the linky-dink in my side-bar, but i had to post this one, as they cracked me up. without further adieu…

almost-65-yr-old madre and her almost-69-yr-old sister (who is a nun)

this is the beginnings of a fairly intense water-gun fight!!!

PS ~ you will be happy to know…not spending any time in the sun in the last umpteen million years makes your skin so white, i doubt i even needed sunscreen. i mean really…white REFLECTS the sun right? yeah. thats how white my legs are.

PPS ~ can someone help me with how to make a photo IN a post LINK to the page in flickr when you click the photo? i am so clueless…

i am going swimmin’ today… as soon as i hit *publish* i am going to get into the shower and then dig out the old bathing suit and head on out to a swim party at my aunt’s old house.

as in her former place of residence. the coolness that is (are?…is?…are?) the people who bought her house years and years ago let her come over and use their (her old) amazing in-ground pool sometimes during the summer. so there will be aunts and friends (the madre’s vacationistas) and a few cousins and even some kiddos. i have not been in e.o.n.s.

when my aunt lived in this house, she used to have a weekly swim party, and she would have the hotdogs/burgers and soda and everyone else brought something potluck. or something like that. i can remember days of getting into the pool at 10am, and only getting out maybe twice to eat, and the madre dragging me and my oldest friend out of the pool around 9pm. if she was lucky. i was a fish in another lifetime, i am sure.

i have to find my S.P.F. 45 and protect my delicate irish skin, since i’ve been freaked out by the recent stats saying women get melanoma twice as frequently as men. or something weird. and i dont want my kickass tattoos to fade. priorities, you know… i am taking a cake mom made last night and she will likely stop by on her way home from work.

i’m looking forward to that all-day-in-the-pool exhaustion so familiar to me from my childhood. there may be pictures. and i may well act like an old fart and sit in the shade and embroider bookmarks all day.

and i will probably still get sunburned.

not home 24 hours and the nagging has resumed begun…

i have a few papers for my student loans that are near the front door, so i can do the online requirement and then complete them and turn them back into school. soon.

seriously, things are processed at lightning speed these days, what with the whole electronic computer internet age and all. its not 1989, or anything…when things had to be mailed and processed all by hand. apparently, despite her computer savvy, my dear madre has seemed to misplace this bit of information.

so tonight, she comes in from the laundry room or something and as she passed the papers, she says In That Tone That Makes Me Insane, “you arent going to get your money on time since those are so LATE and not done, are you?” oy. honestly, if the tone of voice was different, i would be so much more receptive or accepting of her inquiries.

but holy fuck. the tone of if i dont shove myself as far up your ass and nag you at every opportunity you will fuck your life up beyond recognition and thusly be “the poorest reflection of a daughter onto her mother”* in the history of the universe is what rattles every last little nerve in my psyche.

and so tonight, i kind of blew. i told her enough with the nagging me, and reminded her am 37 years old and she needs to stop nagging me. then, i told her calmly that it would be processed instantly, via the spiffyness of online things, and when she still looked at me like i was some pathetic good-for-nothing, cant be trusted to do anything kind of human being, i looked at her and said “i cant take it to school TODAY, ok?”

and now i have to go clean up the spatter from the explosion of my brain while i count how many motherfucking days it is until i can move my significant ass out of here.

*i am already more than halfway to this dubious title.

so little motivation to sit my ass down and say it…

i’ve had the place to myself since tuesday morning, as the mama went on a mini-vacation with her sisters ~ she returns today, while i am away at work for my weekly 12-hour shift. you would think i would have jumped at the privacy to sit and blog without the looking-over-my-shoulder going on.

not so much.

part of it was because i spent most of tuesday and wednesday in the car and out of the house… i left the house around 2:30pm for the concert and walked back in the door at 1:00am… i know i was still up around 3:00am, and dont know how long it was until i fell asleep (more on the sleeplessness later) wednesday morning i woke up around 9:30am and was on the road by 11am to visit Miss Calliope. it was seriously lovely to meet her in person, and i dont know when i have met someone for the first time and had it feel any more like i have known them for forever. she didnt even squawk when i handed her the box of cookies and there was one missing. the IVP rocks that way ~ i was seriously pms-ing and on the little drive, i needed some chocolately-fudgey sustinance. HA!

on the way home, i stopped at two local places to bring birthday goodies home for myself, and then promptly got stuck in evening traffic. so i stopped for 20 minutes in a shady parking lot and took a snooze. by the time i was on the road again, traffic was better, the sun wasnt so blinding and i was in the house again at 8:30pm, in jammies by 8:35pm!

so thursday was spent lounging and lolling about (read: sleeping). much the same for yesterday… its too damned hot to be out for anything other than necessity ~ which, my friends…it is now ten til ten and i must get myself into the shower and a little spruced up for this dreaded 12-hour shift…

hope everyone is having a good weekend, and i will spend the shift composing some cool blog posts in my mind that hopefully will make it to this space before my next birthday.

200 miles driven. souvenir t-shirt purchased. seats in the 4th row. all songs sung and danced to. at least 5# of sweat lost in the human sauna crowd. more than half of the concert viewed from the foot of the stage. 118 photos taken. including the one above.

i am exhausted.

this was likely The Most Phenomenal Preformance i have ever been to. and this was my 17th concert. more photos to come… but i have important things to do today, like going to visit the lovely FET’d calliope.

ciao, ya’ll!

happy birthday to me…

i found this picture months and months ago, and i cant recall if i posted it. my dad took this photograph… the bike belonged to one of his cousins, who had brought it over to show off to my dad… i remember them letting me sit on that bike, and how the engine was still warm against my legs…

i cant even begin to say that to think on the reality that i am thirty-seven years old. 37. it seems like such an abstract and obscure number to associate with me. way too close to 40 for my tastes, but not for reasons you might think… i do not mind the numbers growing larger each year. i have lost enough loved ones too soon to not appreciate the alternative.

i think my disbelief in my actual age is that i think when i was a kid, i figured by the time i was my parents’ ages, i would be grown up. and further along in my life. in having my own life. and i feel so far from that, a lot of the time…which i attribute to the whole Still Living At Home status i must maintain until i complete my RN.

so here’s to spending my 38th birthday signing a lease for My Own Place.

yesterday was my marathon 12-hr saturday. sometimes i cant believe i used to be able to work (3) 12-hr days in a week, these days, just one shift wrecks me. yesterday was even more challenging because of certain things on my mind (regarding the sweetgirl, separate post forthcoming).

i called mom midway thru the shift and she crooned to me that i got a birthday card… it was from one of my aunts, and i thought to myself, i would be grateful for the $5 she always puts in my card. i have a little stash of mad money that i keep in the jar under the change i collect, and i try and keep at least a couple hundred in case of emergency. i put proceeds from the sale of my embroidered bookmarks and cake-making.

anyway. i get home last night, very late… one of the lab techs in the main lab is in the LPN program, and she usually sucks me into a conversation. i was also already late, as my supervisor (who so totally rocks) was there moving her office and such, had me sign my annual evaluation and fill out some stuff she needed.

i see the card on the couch, and i flip it over to open it up… there is a sticker with critters i used to be crazy about on them, and when i open it, it is a homemade card. the typical $5 is in the card, and it falls to the floor as i read the card… “love, auntie aunt” is in her pretty cursive. and then i nearly pass out from the shock.

below her name. her phone number. so i am sure to call her and thank her. i am sure my lips were pursed together pretty tightly as they did when i just re-looked at the card as i type this. might i mention, this phone number is the same number she has had for as long as i have been alive (37 years on tuesday) and is one of the first phone numbers i learned as a child, after my own.

this all stems from what she deems as proper. when i got into nursing school last year, she sent me a check or something, and i emailed her a thank-you. she apparently doesnt check it often or whatthefuckever, but she was offended i didnt *call* her to thank her. so the next time she sent something, i call. and she fucking blew me off and acted like i was bothering her.

trigger point for all my issues.

i was so fucking angry last night. i wanted to call her right then, at 12:30am. but i refrained… this morning, mom came into the living room and i told her to read the card. she thought i meant the verse… i told her just read how she signed it. and when she saw the number she kind of shrugged and laughed at the same time and made some comment about “well…when we get old, we get funny about things…” and i just looked at her and said THAT WAS TACKY!!!!! i also added that i am not 7 years old.

i want to defy my aunt. not call, but write her a thank-you note for the card and money. and send it thru the mail. but i will probably cow to her and call later today.

is it any wonder that i have these crap issues of being not enough?

because i am too impatient, i am finally uploading the rest of the photos (i think i took well over 100) into my flickr account. i will try and get it linked in the next few days. cuz i know you want to see every. single. photo.

for now… here are a few interesting photos to tide everyone over…

quite possibly The Coolest Thing Ever. on saturday, i slept in (missed the free continental breakfast = stupid) and just lounged around, because i was “tired” and had a migraine. it was actually the precursor to my bronchitis, now that i look back… anyway, i spent the day in pajamas and did embroidery and wanted some music. i was going to be content to have a local country station, until i saw the jack for the mp3-player. so i got to listen to my beloved ipod without the dreaded ill-fitting earbuds. heaven!

a gypsy on the hotel balcony. new haircut & colour. not too bad for colouring my hair at 3am the morning before i left for the trip, eh? who knew a green-eyed, red head would look good against an orange background?

the bride is such a sweetie. she tolerated me following in close proximity to the real photographer and snapping away my own pics. and then posed for this one for me while the real photog changed lenses or something. such a sweet soul.

i think this is my favourite photo… the traditional-ness of looking out the window with the funky pink hair and all her tattoos…

all the pretty girls… they were allowed to wear any style dress they wanted, and their flowers were coordinated with the vest of the boy they walked with. it was an extraordinarily beautiful and colourful wedding!

there were a few paparrazzi sightings… this is mo’s boyfriend, and he juggled these three cameras most of the day and night into the reception.

i have a photo of my cajun dad like this from every time i have been with my cajun family…

boys and their beer… (before the wedding, mind you) the glasses are hunter’s gifts to his groomsmen. we laughed that he was the one with the beer can, while the rest of the guys had the stylin’ beer glasses. heh.

hope you enjoy!